SCRAPING your nails down a chalkboard for an hour and a half; mowing the lawn and then arranging the cut grass in to length order; juggling broken glass; watching endless re-runs of El Dorado.
These are all options that you should take up rather than ever watch Space Chimps 2: Zartog Strikes Back. Even if it is in 3D.
I’ve never seen Space Chimps 1, so I cannot pass comment. But based on the sequel, I’ve no interest in ever seeing it.
The plot – and I use the term plot in its loosest sense – is virtually non existent. A young space chimp, Comet, is upset when he doesn’t make the cut for a mission.
He accidentally takes off in a space shuttle and goes to a weird and wonderful planet. Meanwhile the former ruler of that planet, Zartog, who was the centrepiece of someone’s front garden, is released from his ornament state and wreaks havoc.
Space Chimps 2 is not funny. It is not particularly impressive in terms of animation. The 3D is 3D for the sake of it, not because it adds anything to the whole experience. The problem with films like this is that other studios have raised the bar so high, that these films just look dreadful.
I always try and look for the positives in a cinematic experience. Well here goes, the trailer for Shrek Ever After was worth a watch. And, I suppose I must add begrudgingly, the kids kind of enjoyed it.
Yes they weren’t as enthusiastic about it as Fantastic Mr Fox, Up, or some of the other films they’ve seen at the cinema. But they did actually watch it, and get sufficient enjoyment to tell their mother all about it when we got home.
So perhaps the review conclusion should be this. Dreadful film, don’t expect to enjoy it, but if there’s nothing else on and your kids are under four, then why not...
RATING 0/5
Tickets: Cineworld, Shrewsbury